Tips On How To Help Kids Deal With Their Parents’ Divorce

 

how to help kids cope with divorce

While spouses find it hard, children find it harder to deal with divorce. In some cases, the impact left by divorce on children are even brought into their adulthood. Underlying causes of depression, insecurities, trust issues, and the like may be rooted from the effects of their parents’ divorce when they were younger.

What is even worse is the fact that so many children actually blame themselves for the destruction of their parents’ marriage. They attribute the failure of marriage to their existence or to certain acts they committed when in reality, they did not contribute, at all, to the deterioration of their parents’ relationship.

Before exploring legal counsel options (found in law firm websites such as http://ocfamilylawanddivorce.com/practice-areas/divorce/),  every couple must know how to help their kids deal with the divorce. These parents must know what to say to their children so as to guide their children in coping with the situation.

Breaking The News

Perhaps, the hardest part of it all is breaking the news. As much as possible, both parents should be present during this moment as this news could very devastating to the child. The discussion must also be according to the age and maturity of the kid. As parents, you must expect the initial reactions of your children once they understand or comprehend what divorce means.

Although it is very difficult, you must try your best to not get carried away by your children’s emotions and reactions. Moreover, do not throw shade at your partner as you tell your kid what is about to happen. In other words, avoid the blame game.

Acknowledging Their Reactions

Kids may react differently but one thing is for sure, there will be lots of crying, begging, throwing fits, tantrums, etc. That said, both you and your partner must be prepared in how to deal with these reactions without hurting your kids physically or emotionally. Of course, dealing with this is tough especially because you are also dealing with your own emotions. But the thing is, you are more than just a husband or a wife; before anything else, you are first a parent.

dad talking kid

Reassuring The Kids

One major thing to avoid is allowing the kids to think that they caused the divorce. Some kids may feel that they have done something which led to the breakup of their parents; hence, it is extremely important to reassure the kids that  they had nothing to do with the divorce decision. Telling them once is not enough.

In order to help kids understand, you must explain further to the kids that sometimes in life, couples grow apart and no longer agree with each other and so, there comes a need to separate but this does not mean that the parent and child would also separate. You must assure your kids that your duty, responsibility, and love for your kids will never change.

Preparing Them For Changes

Lastly, kids will have to know the changes implied by divorce. Inform them how their living situation will change (for instance, there may be days of the week wherein they will be living with the other parent). In some cases, children may turned over to the grandparents for the meantime while the parents settle their issues. However, do not rub these changes against their faces. It is enough to give them an idea that some things will have to change. Sooner or later, they will be able to adjust accordingly.

Consequences of Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol or Drugs

There is no doubt that we have all heard of cases of driving under the influence or while impaired, whether locally, nationally, or internationally. Perhaps, even at some point in time, we might have actually done this sort of thing but got away from it safely. Unfortunately, many of these incidents have led to severe and permanent injuries and even death. In fact, DUI is considered to be one of the major causes of mortality.

sobriety tests

Sequence of Events

If a police officer suspects that you are driving while impaired, he/she will ask you to pull over. The officer may ask questions but it may be best for you to stay silent as anything you might say can be used as evidence against you. If anything, hold your tongue until you are able to hire an attorney that will represent your case. An attorney, such as DUI attorneys in Denver, is necessary for your case. Moreover, aside from asking questions, the officer may ask you to do several field tests to determine signs of intoxication, tests may include using a breathalyzer and/or asking you to walk a straight line. If the tests point towards you being driving while under the influence, your license may be taken away and you may be arrested. But what exactly might just happen afterwards? Western Republican has listed some of the consequences below.

The Consequences

  • Suspension of Driver’s License

There’s a big chance that your driver’s license will be suspended and it’s not just when you’re found guilty. The length of suspension varies, however. For many states, first-time offenders will face 3 months of license suspension while second-time offenders will face a couple of years. Know that the suspension of license will probably occur if you refuse to take field tests administered by the officers regardless of the result.

  • Going to Jail

As a punishment, offenders will have to go to jail. In many states, first time offenders are to spend a few days in jail; this is to teach them a lesson. As for those who have committed the offense subsequently, they may have to spend a few months to a year in prison. As your case gets more complicated, with serious injuries or death included, you will be required to serve several years depending on the law in your community.

  • Paying Fines

You may have to pay fines ranging from $500 and above, depending on the court. Unfortunately, paying these fines does not mean you’re free from the cell though; this actually goes on top of serving time in jail.

do not drink and drive

Other Consequences

Other consequences may involve having to attend lectures and programs focusing on alcohol abuse prevention, treatment, counseling, etc.You may also face possibilities of your insurance company cancelling insurance policies or increasing their rates. And lastly, there may some job opportunities, such as being a professional driver for buses, cabs, etc., that will be closed for you because of your DUI case.